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A statement of change.
Feb. 23rd, 2008 07:35 amThis is the second try at writing this. The first was rambly and not to the point, so I redid it, and here goes.
On February 15th I had an argument with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
joshuwain Up to this time I had thought that the way that I tried to convince people of my ideas was simply being forceful, trying to drive my point home so that they could see what I saw. Now I realize that what I was doing was browbeating and attacking them, trying to get them to surrender to my way of thought. This is what I did to him.
This is wrong. I was totally at fault, and while I can't say I was fully at fault in other arguments in the past, I can certainly see how my methods made things MUCH worse and caused more hurt than it could ever be worth. I am resolving to not do this again. I don't want to hurt anyone, nor manipulate them. I know where it comes from at least- I want to be listened to, and I want people to think highly of my ideas. In this, I try too hard to BE listened to, rather than doing things so that people have a reason to listen. I act in an agressive manner, and that usually just hardens opinions against me.
So, I'm not going to do that anymore. If I have an idea to present, I'll present it. But I WON'T try to ram it down someone's throat anymore, nor will I resort to pointlessly belittling or attacking their position. Instead, I'll ask that they consider it and give me an answer later. If its in a game or some other situation where an answer is required, I'll step back and let it go if I'm not agreed with. I have to learn to back down more gracefully, so bear with me if this doesn't come off perfectly right away.
So that's it. To those whom have had to deal with me being pigheaded in this way, please take this as my public apology, as well as my promise to improve.
On February 15th I had an argument with
joshuwain Up to this time I had thought that the way that I tried to convince people of my ideas was simply being forceful, trying to drive my point home so that they could see what I saw. Now I realize that what I was doing was browbeating and attacking them, trying to get them to surrender to my way of thought. This is what I did to him.This is wrong. I was totally at fault, and while I can't say I was fully at fault in other arguments in the past, I can certainly see how my methods made things MUCH worse and caused more hurt than it could ever be worth. I am resolving to not do this again. I don't want to hurt anyone, nor manipulate them. I know where it comes from at least- I want to be listened to, and I want people to think highly of my ideas. In this, I try too hard to BE listened to, rather than doing things so that people have a reason to listen. I act in an agressive manner, and that usually just hardens opinions against me.
So, I'm not going to do that anymore. If I have an idea to present, I'll present it. But I WON'T try to ram it down someone's throat anymore, nor will I resort to pointlessly belittling or attacking their position. Instead, I'll ask that they consider it and give me an answer later. If its in a game or some other situation where an answer is required, I'll step back and let it go if I'm not agreed with. I have to learn to back down more gracefully, so bear with me if this doesn't come off perfectly right away.
So that's it. To those whom have had to deal with me being pigheaded in this way, please take this as my public apology, as well as my promise to improve.
