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Spaz went to his rest today at just after 1 PM. It was the most peaceful passing I've seen, given it was euthanasia.
March, 2008 - May 18, 2023.
God I miss you.
The below is reposted, with one small correction.
Right now, it is Wednesday morning at work, just after midnight on May 3rd. I’m writing this now, has I’ve done in the past, because I don’t know what state I’ll be in if and when I make the decision.
Back in March of 2008, I lost Luna. It was a devastating loss. Those words don’t even come close to what I felt then. Though is was probably too soon, in May, on my birthday, my friends took me to the Golden Valley Humane Society, where I’d originally gotten her, to ‘window shop’ as it were. I’d decided to get two cats, as I’d heard that it was better for them psychologically, but that day I wasn’t actually expecting to get new pets.
While there, I nearly broke down several times- remembering. But I looked, and saw a kitten in a small boxlike case, by himself. He was very tiny, and I wasn’t wanting to deal with a kitten, nor did I want a male cat- more health problems, etcetera.
But then, he locked eyes with me and said ‘mew!’ And it was all over.
The second cat was Lady. She passed away in 2018, at 18 years of age. I got her when she was 8. Spaz was all of 10 weeks old- he and his siblings had been put in a box and tossed out the window of a car. So that’s how I got Spaz and Lady.
Now… Spaz has been having health problems. He had stage one kidney failure for about two years. When I took him in to the vet in February, I found out that it’d advanced to stage 4. That is a termainal diagnosis, with only palliative care to extend life. I thought I was going to lose him in days, but he rallied, and he continued being mostly his old self.
Monday the first I took him in for his yearly shots, senior assay and other tests… And his numbers had worsened. As in doubled-worsened. To complicate things, the vet had me give him gabapentin as a relaxant, so that he’d not be so stressed at the visit.
The visit went fine, but the next day, Tuesday, he was still almost unable to walk, not eating significantly and weak. I called the vet and described what was happening, and that’s when I found out how things had progressed. His lassitude and weakness were due to his kidneys essentially being completely gone, and he couldn’t clear the drug out of his system.
I decided to see how he was in the evening, as he’d eaten a bit, and drank some water. However… There was no real change. He was slightly more active, but not by much. I held him in my arms and he was basically limp. When not being held, he either hid in his carrier, or just sat, staring at it.
Now I have a decision to make. If he’s better in the morning, I can put it off a while, but… The end is near. I don’t want him to suffer. I don’t want to put him through what would be required to keep him going, especially since it would add to his misery.
I don’t want to say goodbye, but in all odds, I will be. Either in the morning, or very soon. I love you Spaz. I’ve had you for fifteen years, and you’ve been a wonderful friend. I will do what I truly hope is best for you, and I hope you can forgive me.
March, 2008 - May 18, 2023.
God I miss you.
The below is reposted, with one small correction.
Right now, it is Wednesday morning at work, just after midnight on May 3rd. I’m writing this now, has I’ve done in the past, because I don’t know what state I’ll be in if and when I make the decision.
Back in March of 2008, I lost Luna. It was a devastating loss. Those words don’t even come close to what I felt then. Though is was probably too soon, in May, on my birthday, my friends took me to the Golden Valley Humane Society, where I’d originally gotten her, to ‘window shop’ as it were. I’d decided to get two cats, as I’d heard that it was better for them psychologically, but that day I wasn’t actually expecting to get new pets.
While there, I nearly broke down several times- remembering. But I looked, and saw a kitten in a small boxlike case, by himself. He was very tiny, and I wasn’t wanting to deal with a kitten, nor did I want a male cat- more health problems, etcetera.
But then, he locked eyes with me and said ‘mew!’ And it was all over.
The second cat was Lady. She passed away in 2018, at 18 years of age. I got her when she was 8. Spaz was all of 10 weeks old- he and his siblings had been put in a box and tossed out the window of a car. So that’s how I got Spaz and Lady.
Now… Spaz has been having health problems. He had stage one kidney failure for about two years. When I took him in to the vet in February, I found out that it’d advanced to stage 4. That is a termainal diagnosis, with only palliative care to extend life. I thought I was going to lose him in days, but he rallied, and he continued being mostly his old self.
Monday the first I took him in for his yearly shots, senior assay and other tests… And his numbers had worsened. As in doubled-worsened. To complicate things, the vet had me give him gabapentin as a relaxant, so that he’d not be so stressed at the visit.
The visit went fine, but the next day, Tuesday, he was still almost unable to walk, not eating significantly and weak. I called the vet and described what was happening, and that’s when I found out how things had progressed. His lassitude and weakness were due to his kidneys essentially being completely gone, and he couldn’t clear the drug out of his system.
I decided to see how he was in the evening, as he’d eaten a bit, and drank some water. However… There was no real change. He was slightly more active, but not by much. I held him in my arms and he was basically limp. When not being held, he either hid in his carrier, or just sat, staring at it.
Now I have a decision to make. If he’s better in the morning, I can put it off a while, but… The end is near. I don’t want him to suffer. I don’t want to put him through what would be required to keep him going, especially since it would add to his misery.
I don’t want to say goodbye, but in all odds, I will be. Either in the morning, or very soon. I love you Spaz. I’ve had you for fifteen years, and you’ve been a wonderful friend. I will do what I truly hope is best for you, and I hope you can forgive me.
