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The End

May. 18th, 2023 01:54 pm
realsorien: (Default)
Spaz went to his rest today at just after 1 PM. It was the most peaceful passing I've seen, given it was euthanasia.

March, 2008 - May 18, 2023.

God I miss you.

The below is reposted, with one small correction.

Right now, it is Wednesday morning at work, just after midnight on May 3rd. I’m writing this now, has I’ve done in the past, because I don’t know what state I’ll be in if and when I make the decision.
Back in March of 2008, I lost Luna. It was a devastating loss. Those words don’t even come close to what I felt then. Though is was probably too soon, in May, on my birthday, my friends took me to the Golden Valley Humane Society, where I’d originally gotten her, to ‘window shop’ as it were. I’d decided to get two cats, as I’d heard that it was better for them psychologically, but that day I wasn’t actually expecting to get new pets.
While there, I nearly broke down several times- remembering. But I looked, and saw a kitten in a small boxlike case, by himself. He was very tiny, and I wasn’t wanting to deal with a kitten, nor did I want a male cat- more health problems, etcetera.
But then, he locked eyes with me and said ‘mew!’ And it was all over.
The second cat was Lady. She passed away in 2018, at 18 years of age. I got her when she was 8. Spaz was all of 10 weeks old- he and his siblings had been put in a box and tossed out the window of a car. So that’s how I got Spaz and Lady.
Now… Spaz has been having health problems. He had stage one kidney failure for about two years. When I took him in to the vet in February, I found out that it’d advanced to stage 4. That is a termainal diagnosis, with only palliative care to extend life. I thought I was going to lose him in days, but he rallied, and he continued being mostly his old self.
Monday the first I took him in for his yearly shots, senior assay and other tests… And his numbers had worsened. As in doubled-worsened. To complicate things, the vet had me give him gabapentin as a relaxant, so that he’d not be so stressed at the visit.
The visit went fine, but the next day, Tuesday, he was still almost unable to walk, not eating significantly and weak. I called the vet and described what was happening, and that’s when I found out how things had progressed. His lassitude and weakness were due to his kidneys essentially being completely gone, and he couldn’t clear the drug out of his system.
I decided to see how he was in the evening, as he’d eaten a bit, and drank some water. However… There was no real change. He was slightly more active, but not by much. I held him in my arms and he was basically limp. When not being held, he either hid in his carrier, or just sat, staring at it.
Now I have a decision to make. If he’s better in the morning, I can put it off a while, but… The end is near. I don’t want him to suffer. I don’t want to put him through what would be required to keep him going, especially since it would add to his misery.
I don’t want to say goodbye, but in all odds, I will be. Either in the morning, or very soon. I love you Spaz. I’ve had you for fifteen years, and you’ve been a wonderful friend. I will do what I truly hope is best for you, and I hope you can forgive me.
realsorien: (Default)
... Since I last posted. A lot has happened, good and bad. To start off, I haven't mentioned this elsewhere, but my Dad had been diagnosed with prostate cancer several years back. They'd initially told him that he'd probably pass from old age long before the cancer became an issue. They were wrong on that.
The cancer metastized, moving into his arm, liver and elsewhere. It was about a yearlong slide, and he passed away on July 19, 2021, at about 5 PM. I got there minutes after he'd gone. It's all over, the grieving mostly done, and life has continued. I miss him, but I was ready for it, so it didn't hit me nearly as hard as it did mom and my brother. And that's the worst of what's gone on in the last year.
Now for more stupid stuff. After he passed, my parent's neighbors across the back yard, the Holcolmbs, were having issues of their own. Jan's knee was in desperate need of surgery, and Dean was in and out of psychological care. Their daughter came out to visit, saw the situation and determined that she was going to move them out to Oregon with her, so she could help.
You might be wondering how this impacts me- well, in two ways. First, Mom and Paul (my brother) volunteered to help clean out their house after they moved, and assist in the sale. This... Was likely a mistake. I won't go into details, but it was a hellscape of labor and surprises. Regardless, they got through it, and Jan offered them her car as partial repayment for the assistance.
My mom and brother being who they are, they refused and outright gift, and paid about $5000 for it, roughly half the blue book value. A good deal, right? Riiiiight. There were problems from the start, which I'll not get into, but the long and short was that it took from August of 2021 to April of 2022 to get the damn thing running.
Originally, the plan had been that I would receive Dad's old car after he passed; that changed when Paul's minivan crapped out completely. I'll note here, I have NO problem with this. He has busted his ass to help both my parents and me over the years, and he deserves whatever benefits come his way. The plan changed to me getting the Holcolmb's car. This was fine, til my old Beast, a 2001 LeSaber, started having more and more problems. For the last two weeks I've been using Dad's car, and Paul has been sharing vehicles with mom and Maggie, his daughter.
However, that's all done, finally. As of yesterday, I have my 'new' car- a 2014 Buick Lacrosse. It has a rebuilt engine (turns out all the problems stemmed from a cracked block- ouch), and so has 72,000 miles on the body, and about 60 miles on the engine. So, woot.
That's all the big stuff. I'm healthy, well-wheeled, and employed. The tabletop games I'm in go well, and I'm making a vague effort to eat at least a little bit better. Spaz is fine, still has kidney problems but is mostly healthy otherwise. He has bad teeth, not uncommon for his age, and will be going in for a cleaning (and probably one extraction) in 10 days.

So, that's the update. Maybe I'll post more frequently... But probably not.
realsorien: (Default)
Back from the vet- Lady has lost weight (I kinda suspected that she had) and she got a blood workup to check her kidney function and such- at 14, she's not a young cat. I'll get the results of that on Monday. She seems healthy though, so I'm not concerned. Like as not she'll be going on a senior diet, which means so will Spaz, as he eats everything.

Speaking of Spaz, he got X-rays and was NOT HAPPY at the Vet. Usually it's lady that's losing it. This time, he was really hissing and fighting. Well, until they dosed him for the X-rays. Then he was (and still is) really mellow. He's in my room, still in the carrier, being zonked. He got some painkillers as well, so he's gonna be relaxing a while.

The total bill was pretty hefty- Over $600. If people want to help, I won't say no to it- my paypal is shaggy (at) visi (dot) com. Don't feel obligated, but any help I'd be grateful for.
realsorien: (Default)
I'm taking Spaz and Lady to the vet today. I noticed that this morning Spaz was limping. He wasn't last night, so I don't know what the heck happened. I was able to get them both in at 2 PM today- they both need their shots anyway, so.

I suspect he hurt himself flinging himself about like a maniac as he is wont to do. Hopefully they'll say 'oh, he pulled a muscle' or similar, rather than telling me something like 'he has hip dysplasia'.

I'm not sure what I'd do there. I'm not really worried- it's not a fatal condition, it just means I have to be more careful with him and monitor his behavior more closely. One thing that kinda convinces me that he's not that bad off is that he's still playing and still eating like a starving wolf... And in similar quantities. :P
realsorien: (Default)
Okay, so my weekend actually is Friday and Saturday nights, but still. On Thursday I had a CEU class for work instead of my normal shift, so I was up all day at that instead of asleep. I crashed when I got home, getting up about four hours later. I ended up crashing early again that night (for me), around 4 AM or so. Friday was quiet, til the evening when I, [livejournal.com profile] joshuwain, [livejournal.com profile] foeclan and [livejournal.com profile] feezlekahn all did a little shopping run to two of the Half Price Books stores, Best Buy and a little used DVD place. I struck out on what I was after (the True Blood first two seasons sets), but I did get 'Cronkite Remembers', which is a autobiographical series by Unka Walt himself. It was ten bucks, so hey. I already have my folks wanting to borrow it! Oh- I DID find what I wanted online after, for the price I was limiting myself to- woot.

Also that night we ate at a little hole in the wall called 'Jimbos'. Its an ancient little dive restaurant off highway 10 in Blaine, that I always saw while I grew up. Never ate there before now, but I liked it- good, if not five-star food. The marinera was too sweet for me, but it was cheap and filling.

After all that, groceries were purchased and people headed for home. I once again crashed early, forgetting to make the Swedish meatballs for the game on Saturday. Fortunately, I woke with plenty of time to get 'em done. three pounds of meatballs went over well and were gone save for two!

The game, a Dresden Files short (test?) run, was a blast, It was the last run of the limited run, so the Saturday group is now going back to the Skylands campaign, which I'm not in.

Sunday was for the most part quiet, save that whilst I was holding Spaz, he freaked out for some reason and ripped my face pretty nastily. Its not actually that bad, but it looks like I was in a fight. I think he's gonna go to the vet to see about kitty-Ritalin or something else- he's WAY too strung, all the time, and I'm tired of his chasing Lady.

And now, I'm off to work. Bleah.
realsorien: (Default)
I've got the lights, polished off two more gifts and now I have the stuff for wrapping the gifts. I think I've figgered out something for the second gift for my dad, too- he and my mom have birthdays that bracket Xmas. That leaves my brother, my two nieces and eight friends left. Woo! Its really going quick this year! And now, Food. :)

I may get the tree up today as well; I got a spray that may dissuade Spaz, but we'll see. So one way or another that damned old desk is gonna go away tonight!

Edit- I forgot! I got the novel printed out to start the editing process. It looks so PUNY like this. O.o
realsorien: (Default)
This ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4495388/ ) is proof that The Feline Overlords CAN share space without fighting. Sometimes. :)
realsorien: (Default)
I haven't really posted about Spaz and Lady of late, so I thought I'd put up a quick update as to how they're doing. Spaz is still Spaz, causing trouble, eating like a vacuum cleaner sucks dust and being generally underfoot, but he's going after lady less and tolerating her presence far more- They both sleep on my bed now without Spaz driving Lady off, for example, and I found them both under the little antique chair by my bedroom door (in the family room) sleeping the other night. Spaz has once again lost his two new rattle-mice, but still has the disgusting, horribly-chewed pink one that he carries around.

Lady has gotten friendlier, as evidenced by her jumping into my lap and demanding bellyrubs for half an hour or more at a time, and as mentioned above she's been sleeping on my bed. A bad habit she's developing is that she wants to sit on the cable modem cos it's warm... I prevent this, and sometimes the simple act of putting something on it that blocks her but doesn't cover it's vents works- however, she does shove such things off, as they're necessarily not that big.

As to Luna... I'm getting better. Now thinking about her doesn't mess with me so much, and its only a little melancholy that I feel. Its been more than two years now- I don't think I'll ever be 'over it' per se, but I can live with it now.

And that's the update.

A Record!

Jan. 13th, 2010 04:26 pm
realsorien: (Default)
The Xmas tree is down and packed away, as are all the decorations. For me, this IS a record, I think. The disassembly was precipitated by Spaz not only re-flattening the lower branches facing the kitchen to the floor AGAIN, but when I made sure he couldn't get in there, he did it to the ones in the back! He got caught and spent an hour in the gulag (cat carrier) for that.

So, its put away, the branches hopefully bent back so that they'll not need a lot of fiddling next year. I may add some kind of support then, especially if it blocks the little idiot from getting in there. :P
realsorien: (Default)
I have TWO gifts left to buy, both of which I'm stumped for. THREE are en route via mail, and will be wrapped pretty much the moment they get here. All the rest are wrapped and under the tree. Yay! I'll get more pics of the tree when everything is under it, and maybe arrange for Spaz and/or Lady to be in the shot. :)
realsorien: (Default)
Spaz is once again living up to his name. Not only has he now developed the... LOVELY habit of nightly digging through the trash in my bedroom wastebasket and spreading it around, he has now fucked up my Christmas tree, flattening three of the lowest branches to the floor so he can sleep there. I have to figure out a way to straighten the branches and reinforce them so the little moron can't do it anymore. Right now, he's spending quality time in his carrier so I don't murder him.

This on top of jumping on Lady at every chance.

I really do love him, but geez, he sometimes makes it hard.
realsorien: (Default)
Today I took Spaz and Lady in to the vet for their yearly checkups, and also got Lady a 'senior screen', which is an extra set of tests to check liver/heart/kidney function and whatnot, as a precaution. Both are healthy, Lady had a little tartar on her teeth- I may take her in to have them cleaned sometime soon. I have to take her back in tomorrow, because they couldn't get any urine from her. No problems other than the sticker shock of the visit- $360! O.o

Anyway, Spaz had no problems going in, and was calm, relaxed and curious as usual while there. Lady, on the other hand, yowled like Satan himself was twisting her tail the whole way in and the whole way back, and while she was there she kinda curled up and acted scared. Oy. But they both behaved.

9 AM tomorrow Lady goes back in so they can get the urine sample, and that's it for the year. I'll not be slammed so hard pricewise next year- one of the shots they got is once every three years, and I won't get the senior screen again either.
realsorien: (Default)
Just a pair of pics of Lady and Spaz, seeing as I think the last pics were when I got them last year.


Lady: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4494749

And Spaz: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4494727
realsorien: (Default)
3:30 AM and I just had steak for dinner, long with a Mike M's 'Hoppy Gnu Beer'. Very nice! Its potent too. :) From about 7 PM to 12:30 AM I was out cold, as I was utterly fried from all the baking. Scotty L. stopped by and received his offering... Hee. I would have slept longer, but Spaz decided he wanted me to get up.

Wow. Disjointed post!

Anyway, I head to the train depot in a few hours. [livejournal.com profile] joshuwain will deliver the cookies, and [livejournal.com profile] mirrdae will deliver a donation to the charity auction for me. I SO need this vacation. :)
realsorien: (Default)
On Tuesday [livejournal.com profile] joshuwain, [livejournal.com profile] foeclan and I took [livejournal.com profile] feezlekahn out for his birthday; we hit Old Chicago for dinner (marred only by the table of screeching harridans by the door), then went to Best Buy and Half Price Books. It was a nice night, and aside from his gift I went and got myself something- 'Godzilla Raids Again' which is also known as 'Gigantis the Fire Monster'. Whee!

In other news, yesterday I picked up one of those rubber grooming brushes for Lady, to help her with the shedding issue- she's been having hairballs, so the more loose fur I get off of her the better. She likes it, and I should be able to build a third cat soon. O.o I also got them a new water bowl, one of those with the flanged bottom so Spaz can't dump it anymore!

Work is work, and I've decided to stay at Baker. It could be a LOT worse after all, and the walking isn't too terrible compared to the walking hells that Ive been on. Saturday is the return of the Vanguard game, which is slowly winding down to its conclusion, and Sunday is the second run of Ben's 7th Sea campaign! I'm looking forward to both, especially since I now can get actual sleep before the Saturday game!

Oh, and on Monday I made a roast REALLY late, inviting [livejournal.com profile] foeclan and [livejournal.com profile] feezlekahn to share in it. The roomies went out for food, and [livejournal.com profile] joshuwain was at a Fringe Fest play, else they would have been invited too. There was also chocolate cake. ;)
realsorien: (Default)
Lady is getting friendlier. I suspect she may start actually being out in the open at least around the upstairs roomies within a few weeks. Spaz is still sick, but his fever broke. Mostly he's just all stuffed up- rather a gruesome sound, but for the most part harmless. I think he'll be fine (aside from my paranoid fears) in a few days. As its prolly kennel cough, it lasts for a week or two and we're getting close to that.

On other things, the Sunday group had Traveller yesterday. We have a new player, named Ben. His character is Luke, a Lutrani- basically a human genemod species who possess otterlike aquatic alterations. He apparently has had other cybernetic mods as well. I should have the writeup done in the next week or so. Our next run is a month hence, as the GM is going to be out of town- it would also be Father's Day on the normal run-date.

I got the lawn mowed finally, too- After my mower broke I tried to borrow one from friends. They weren't home so I tried the rental place. It was closed. Then I just kinda gave up and ran out to the folks and swiped theirs. But its done for now. I'm contemplating the start of work on the outside of the house too in the near future... More fool I.
realsorien: (Default)
Well, Lady and Spaz seem to be adapting to life here, though Spaz is far more comfortable than Lady. Inadvertently I discovered Lady's 'magic' hiding place, after mom was over and looked for her. 30 seconds after she and dad left, Lady came out- I discovered that she has been hiding in a flap that makes a kind of 'hammock' inside the back of the brown chair! Useful to know. Hopefully she'll not find a NEW hiding spot.

They both go to the vet for their 'free' checkup tomorrow. They'll be getting their rabies vaccinations as well then. I think that Spaz may have a slight cold or an allergy- he's been sneezing. I'll have them check that out too.

On to other things- Not much else to report on. The writeup of the latest Traveller episode continues apace, and I may have it done sometime tonight. I'm at 10 pages and have just under half my notes to go. O.o

Cat pics!

May. 26th, 2008 12:03 am
realsorien: (Default)
Okay, here are four pics. Lady is still being horribly shy, but she's getting better. And Spaz? The trick is getting him to hold still long enough...

Spaz Pic 1: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4493099

Spaz Pic 2: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4493100

Lady Pic 1: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4493112

Lady Pic 2: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4493115

Cats!

May. 24th, 2008 01:56 pm
realsorien: (Default)
I now have two cats. Well, one cat and one kitten. Lady is an 8 year old female (duh) who was named 'Mittens' before... Like fifty bazillion OTHER cats... So she's Lady now. She' currently hiding under the bed. She was one of those cats that hides- I knew she needed someone, so I picked her. The other one is a 6 week old black kitten now named Spaz. It fits- Critter has a rocket up his ass or something, I swear. I was actually going to look at another other than him, then he 'MEW'd' at me, tearing my still-beating heart from my chest. So I picked him. Spaz was the first of the pair, really. And Lady was the only other cat we looked at that tolerated his kitten-ness.

[livejournal.com profile] joshuwain and [livejournal.com profile] foeclan actually footed the bill. THANKS again! Sometime in the next two weeks they go for a vet visit, and right now they're in my room acclimating. Spaz is loving the exploration, and I think Lady is happy to be out of the shelter, but is still real... I think 'isolated' is a good word for it. At least she no longer looks terrified.

Also with us on the catting-expedition was [livejournal.com profile] ataramos. Right now she's napping. I can hear Spaz thumping about in my room as I type.

It was harder to be at the shelter than I expected. I nearly lost it a few times, but... I'm glad we went. I'll miss Luna, but its nice to have cats around again.

I'll put up pictures when A) Lady comes out from under the bad, and B) Spaz holds still long enough to get more than a blur. O.o

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