Today I return, likely temporarily, to the Saturday Gaming Group. The game will be a short-run of the Dresden Files RPG, with an indefinite number of actual meets. I'm both looking forward to this and feeling some trepidation, if not paranoia. I'm hoping that I've changed enough for things to work out, but I'm afraid that I'm going to be treated differently than everyone else. I expect added scrutiny, but part of me worries that it'll be an 'if I blink I'll fail' kind of thing. Most of this is paranoia. I hope. But time will tell. It doesn't help that I couldn't sleep worth crap.

On a happier note, I watched the entire first season of True Blood over the last few days- I like it enough that I want my own copy of the season collection, and I want to watch the second and successive seasons. It is NOT exactly like the original, which is disappointing, but its STILL a very good series. I definitely question some of the changes (Tara being black and an almost rabidly outspoken 'wild girl'), some of the alterations to what the vampires are like (they're being portrayed as more evil and nasty overall culturally which IS a problem), and a few other little problems. I LOVE the casting of Sookie, Bill and Jason. Lafayette was PERFECT (tho they made changes to him that I dislike), and both Sam and Eric were VERY close to what I was hoping for. I'm definitely looking forward to the further episodes.

Less happy is my monetary situation. I'm VERY tight right now. I'm probably going to stoop to talking to the folks for some petty cash and help with some medical stuff (pay a small bill and get a new inhaler- it might be months before I can afford it, depending). I hate doing it, but I've little recourse. Fortunately, I'm not in any kind of danger financially, its just uncomfortable. And I'll be flat broke til my next paycheck, and immediately after too. And my debts don't rise to the level of being terrifying, just really, really annoying.

I think that's enough rambling. I don't really feel comfortable posting all this, but I'm thinking that by actually doing so some of the stress might be lessened.

Today I'll learn when and where the closing will take place. It'll be Friday for the day, what's unsure is the time and location. I know the title company, and so far I know it's on 2nd Ave. South, downtown... I think. That could easily change if an office is decided on in another location.

I have to write closure letters for Citicard and the computer loan (and get them printed out), and I'm debating closing the Chase/Amazon Visa as well... But on that I'm waffling. If they want me to close it, its gone. Otherwise I'll put it away and not use it, just to have the record of it existing on the credit score. I also need to get the most recent credit card/loan statements together. Not really a big deal.

The remaining cash after the cards and loan are paid gets direct-deposited into the account after the 3 day right of recission... Meaning it'll hit my account Wednesday. :)

So its about done. I can't wait. :)

In other news Saturday is the Vanguard game, and SUnday is the next run of the Buffy Horror campaign- I'm looking forward to, and dreading, both. ;) Friday night will be a Strike Force with the Mana Dragons/Kyn Empire City of Heroes group.

My application for the refinancing was rejected. Its because the ratio of my income (sans rental income- they can't count it due to the house technically not being a rental property) to the amount of debt I have is too high. There is a possibility that another program might be able to help, but then I'll lose all my credit cards- not that I mind that all that much, but these days you NEED at least one.

This puts everything back up in the air. I dunno what to do really.

MFF, which I have the money for, now looks more and more like I won't be going, and instead I'll have to use that money to make payments... Which means I get no progress on the debt, no return at all.

Even when I try to do the right fucking thing, it fails.

Anyone know where I can get $10,000 as a grant or other non-repay 'gift'?