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How it goes...
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:54 pmI've really not been in the mood to post much of anything of late, but I felt that I should at least put something up. I'm supporting the boycott or whatever that happens tomorrow, because really the content that we all put up IS the source of their business, and we deserve to know well ahead of time when major changes like the elimination of free accounts is being contemplated. As a heads-up, this post'll be a little rambly.
Anyway...
I'm still pretty depressed. I'm trying to hide it for the most part, and trying to cope as much as I can... But nearly everything I see seems to turn into another reminder of her. I know I'll pull through this, but right now all I feel is alone and empty. I have moments when I feel better or feel good, which is why I know I'll pull through, but those have been pretty damn few and far between. I'm also having to fight the automatic expectation of seeing her every time I pull up to the house after work, when I round a corner, when I wake up... And the vet's office hasn't gotten her ashes yet either. Mom and Dad are going to pick those up for me- I KNOW I'll come apart at the seams if I go there this soon.
Ive been cleaning my room, and I've gotten rid of a LOT of crap. I've kind-of stalled out, and I still have a lot to do, partly for reasons having to do with the above-mentioned grief-depression. I've sold off a lot of old comics that I'd not looked at for years (I got $170 which will pay for my NEW comics for some time), as well as my National Geographics. Those went to Half-Price Books, and I got $37 for them. I'll be culling through other things shortly as well, just to neaten things up and simplify the disaster that is my room.
In better news, likely I'll have the house still through the end of the year, and into next. How long past that I've no idea. I'll be doing my taxes and thereafter talking finances with the folks (their idea), and they might finally come through on the long-ago-offered carpeting for the front, back and my bedroom at some point. In addition, they got my brother a used Olds minivan. Why is that good for me? Well, he has a 1991 Buick that is a near duplicate to my parent's Buick, which I'm driving while dad futzes with my beater... And if the minivan turns out to not be a lemon, Dad'll sell mine and I'll get Paul's Buick.
And other than more general cleaning around the house, that's about all thats going on. And just to say it... Today marks the two-week mark of her passing.
Anyway...
I'm still pretty depressed. I'm trying to hide it for the most part, and trying to cope as much as I can... But nearly everything I see seems to turn into another reminder of her. I know I'll pull through this, but right now all I feel is alone and empty. I have moments when I feel better or feel good, which is why I know I'll pull through, but those have been pretty damn few and far between. I'm also having to fight the automatic expectation of seeing her every time I pull up to the house after work, when I round a corner, when I wake up... And the vet's office hasn't gotten her ashes yet either. Mom and Dad are going to pick those up for me- I KNOW I'll come apart at the seams if I go there this soon.
Ive been cleaning my room, and I've gotten rid of a LOT of crap. I've kind-of stalled out, and I still have a lot to do, partly for reasons having to do with the above-mentioned grief-depression. I've sold off a lot of old comics that I'd not looked at for years (I got $170 which will pay for my NEW comics for some time), as well as my National Geographics. Those went to Half-Price Books, and I got $37 for them. I'll be culling through other things shortly as well, just to neaten things up and simplify the disaster that is my room.
In better news, likely I'll have the house still through the end of the year, and into next. How long past that I've no idea. I'll be doing my taxes and thereafter talking finances with the folks (their idea), and they might finally come through on the long-ago-offered carpeting for the front, back and my bedroom at some point. In addition, they got my brother a used Olds minivan. Why is that good for me? Well, he has a 1991 Buick that is a near duplicate to my parent's Buick, which I'm driving while dad futzes with my beater... And if the minivan turns out to not be a lemon, Dad'll sell mine and I'll get Paul's Buick.
And other than more general cleaning around the house, that's about all thats going on. And just to say it... Today marks the two-week mark of her passing.
